 |
Product Search
|
 |
|
Article Search
|
|
|
Resources
| |
|
Home > Jacob
We Have Found 2 Products for your search of Jacob.
Displaying Items 1 - 2:
Twins Turning Ten - More Than a Double Digit Year by Julie Friedman
Sharing a room and clothes, with not much else to call their own except two toy drawers, three shelves of books, a toothbrush, shoes, some gadgets and other miscellaneous treasures (which I call "junk"), has gotten old for Jacob and Aaron Kagon. So, to celebrate turning ten, each had separate birthday parties for the first time. Combined parties were previously not an issue as both agreed on the party theme and guest lists, and it never occurred to me or my husband to do anything different.
When planning the big bash this year, Aaron and Jacob could not come to a mutual decision about how to celebrate. While compromise is an experience they know too well, it was one I did not want them to have any longer for their birthday. Singletons have the pleasure of being the total center of attention for their birthday, yet for twins, being in the limelight alone for their birthday is a foreign notion. From never dressing them the same to encouraging their pursuit of different interests and fostering their individual talents, my husband and I have always strived to help the boys build on their unique strengths. So why stop at their birthday?
Marking the shift from a single digit year to a double digit year needed to be recognized not only as entering a new developmental stage, but also as furthering their transformation into their own identities. Jacob savors that one minute of the year at 12:05 a.m. when he is not a twin as Aaron was born at 12:06. Jacob's only regret is that he is always asleep at that singular moment in time. In his imagination, being awake to celebrate this magical moment would be awesome!
Since kindergarten, Jacob and Aaron have been in separate classes. This has helped to minimize their competing academically and socially and has given them the opportunity to grow independently.
Their excitement about each having their own party was like giving them a glimpse into singleton life for the first time. They each could each invite twelve friends. Their guest lists had a few duplicates which showed how much their friendships have evolved separately. Jacob's party was first and he had a James Bond movie marathon slumber party. Initially, Aaron did not realize that because Jacob's party was first, he'd be opening presents a week earlier than him. Begrudgingly, Aaron finally accepted this reality knowing that at his party, Jacob would not have gifts to open. Aaron's party was a whale watching excursion, a more extravagant bash than Jacob's pizza and popcorn gathering.
Treating twins as kids with equal needs is not a concept my husband and I have followed in raising our boys. They are responded to individually based upon their needs which vary daily. Raising them as equals would not help them grow as individuals. Each child has his own unique needs in certain areas and less in others. As an example, for their birthdays, we don't spend the same amount of money on each boy. Last year we bought Aaron a used accordion as he wanted to learn to play the "squeeze box" while Jacob received a less expensive gift. This year Jacob received an expensive video game gizmo while Aaron's object of desire was significantly less costly. So far (and we are keeping our fingers crossed) the boys seldom complain or question why one of them didn't get the same treatment or money spent on them as the other did.
The evolution of our boys' development mirrors my own. Initially, I was relieved when it became evident that I was having problems getting pregnant. Having children was a lifecycle event my husband wanted more than I did. During Jacob and Aaron's first year, what seemed to be an impossible undertaking shifted to being just plain difficult. Now, ten years later, I can't image life without them. I savor our time together, even when I'm at my wits end with one or both of them. I gladly have made more sacrifices than I previously would have dreamed of for the sake of my boys. The exotic vacations to faraway lands or the room additions to the house may never come, and that's just fine with me.
It was a big leap for me to transition from reluctantly becoming a parent to embracing motherhood. And that I am the director of a non-profit child development organization baffles me. Ten years ago I worked in the health field and had zero interest or knowledge of child development. Now I am committed to helping parents face the challenges of parenthood and to gain the confidence and skills to raise resilient children while embracing their own trepidations of being a parent.
Today, I see how different the boys are from each other and how radically different my emotions are since finding out I was pregnant. From the shock of seeing twins on the ultrasound screen, to the anxiety of thirty days with the boys in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit after their premature birth, to their tenth birthday and joining in their exuberance at their birthday parties, we have all come to this double digit year being more than doubly blessed.
About the Author
Julie Friedman is the mother of 10 year old twins and lives with them and her husband in Malibu, California. She has a masters in public health and is the director of a child development organization in Los Angeles.
|
